


Palpitations

by Yasuo_Karada



Series: NoiAo Week 2K16 [1]
Category: DRAMAtical Murder (Visual Novel), DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety, Domestic, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-01-07
Packaged: 2018-05-12 08:16:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5659219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yasuo_Karada/pseuds/Yasuo_Karada
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>day 1 - firsts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Palpitations

**Author's Note:**

> Despite his cool demeanor and general apathy, there are some things that even he can't hide.

“Noiz.” Aoba had to pause to take a deep breath to keep his cool. “ _What_ is this.”  
  
Noiz looked up from his coil and over to Aoba, who was standing in the entryway of the living room where Noiz was currently attempting to catch up on work. An eyebrow raised at what he was holding before he replied, “My boxers. What of it?”  
  
“I found it under my bed.” Aoba cocked a hip, folding one arm across his chest to rest his hand on the other arm's elbow, his middle and index fingers holding up the aforementioned garment. “Along with a bunch of other shit leftover from your antics.”  
  
“Ah,” Noiz perked up slightly, as though remembering something. “My bad. I'll take care of it--”  
  
“It's already been done, just...make sure next time you decide to pounce on me in my room, you clean up after yourself, yeah? I'd like to keep my space tidy,” the blue-haired man huffed, still slightly annoyed but finding less ground to stand on after Noiz seemed genuinely apologetic. He turned on his heel towards the laundry room to toss the boxers into the washer with their other clothes.  
  
Noiz watched as Aoba left and he immediately picked up on the vibe that Aoba was still a bit irritated. He didn't like the feeling building in his gut and the tightness in his chest, it was gross and it made him feel like throwing up.  
  
Disappointment was something he was used to – not experiencing it, but having it projected onto him. Annoyance, too, and disdain. Disgust. Throughout his life, everyone around him had shown it at one point or another, and he shrugged it off.  
  
But Aoba was different.  
  
Aoba cared. He forced himself into Noiz's barrier of stone and glass shards, broke his chains, freed him. He had waited for him to come back, after _three months_ , and despite all that, he agreed to live with him in some strange country, a new world so far away from the one he knew. He gave Noiz his smiles, his gratitude and pride to Noiz coming home after a long day's work, the tears he would shed out of pure joy whenever they embraced.  
  
Aoba was upset with him.  
  
Before he knew what was even going on, his throat had tightened and it became hard to breathe. His head was full of air, and his heart pounded in such an odd rhythm that he wasn't even sure he was feeling it right. It was like, it would vibrate, then pound, then vibrate again.

 

 _fuck_  


  
He didn't like it; no, he was _petrified_.  
  
Aoba was irritated.  


_n_ _ononon_ _**onono** _

  
He upset Aoba. Aoba won't want to put up with him anymore and he'll want to leave. He'll pack up all of his things and go back to Japan, without looking back and

_shit_

leaving him all alone. He gave him the world and he'll take it back. Aoba will leavehe'smadheregretscomingtoGermanyheregretsgettinginvolvedwithhimand _he'llleavejustlikeeveryoneelseandhecan'tdisappointhimnothimnotAobahejustcan'tlo_  
  
“Noiz?”  
  
He almost didn't hear Aoba over his breathing, didn't realize he was practically doubled over and clutching the front of his shirt.  
  
“Noiz?!” And suddenly Aoba was at his side, hands gently holding his shoulders as his arms wrapped around him. “Noiz, what's wrong?!”  
  
The blond tried to stabilize his shaking form, fought to get his breathing under control. Having Aoba here helped, he realized; his scent, his warmth, the vice grip he held around him, the genuine concern and...fear, he thought he heard in his voice.  
  
It took a moment, but eventually Noiz had calmed down enough to relax his tensing muscles. “Sorry...I'm fine.”  
  
“Are you sure? That didn't seem fine to me,” Aoba spoke softly, carefully, as though just breathing in Noiz's direction would make him crumble.  
  
Noiz bit his lip. What even was that? He hadn't felt it before, not since...

_oh_

  
...not since his first night alone in that room.  
  
“...Noiz...?” Aoba lightly cupped his cheek in one palm and carefully, slowly, turned Noiz's head to face him.  
  
“I'm sorry,” Noiz spoke just as Aoba opened his mouth, beating him to it in such a way that he came off as almost desperate. “I'm so sorry. I'll make sure to pick up everything, anything to keep you happy.”  
  
“Wha-” Aoba blinked, scrunching his eyebrows in confusion.  
  
“Just, just please don't leave me. I don't– I _can't_ lose you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.”  
  
Noiz buried his face into Aoba's clothed shoulder, repeating his apology over and over again, his body beginning to shake a bit. Aoba was left absolutely dumbfounded and honestly a bit frightened, unsure of what had happened or how he should go about fixing it.  
  
But what was obvious was that Noiz was not okay.  
  
“H-Hey, I'm not going anywhere. It was just some laundry,” Aoba wrapped his arms tightly around his young boyfriend, squeezing him tightly against him and feeling a bit of relief at feeling Noiz return the favor with a hitched breath. “I'm sorry for getting annoyed. It wasn't that important and I shouldn't have acted the way I did.”  
  
He heard the poor kid sniffle once before his body began to calm.  
  
“I'm not going anywhere, Noiz,” Aoba cooed again, and again, and again until Noiz had stopped shaking completely and loosened his grasp around him. His fingers wove through soft blond locks, their warmth and tenderness soothing him to total stability.

Aoba wasn't sure _what_ quite triggered it, and even after several days had passed, he was careful to make sure he took a gentler tone with Noiz, one that showed he was firm, but not reprimanding. When Noiz left in the morning, Aoba made sure to meet him at the door to give him a kiss good-bye and see him off; when he came back home, Aoba made sure to alert him of his presence as soon as he could, anything to reassure him.  
  
And at night, the nights that they wouldn't spend together, Aoba would kiss him tenderly, a bit longer than the night before, and remind him that he loved him, laundry habits and all. Noiz couldn't help but smile, relieved, every time.

  
_I know_

 

**Author's Note:**

> I was almost not going to make this entry in, I was at such a loss for what to submit. The prompt for the first day of NoiAo week is "firsts", and I was wracking my brain around for an idea.  
> I have the headcanon that although Noiz is pretty stable for the most part, whenever it comes to even the tiniest fraction of losing Aoba, his anxiety shoots up the roof and he's reminded of the time he had his whole world stripped away to be left alone and locked in a dark room.
> 
> This is their first serious hurdle to overcome, one that I think many of us can relate to.


End file.
